So, I’ve heard that transitioning in labor is the hardest part. It’s the part right before you are ready to push the baby out. And shocking enough, the transition is harder than the pushing. The pushing releives the pressure. I haven’t experienced this on my own.
Now, with Harper I had an epidural which was awesome, and with the boys I never went into labor (I was serisously trying to imagine the other night, what if I had the boys au naturale? I can’t even imagine it!!! Thank goodness for modern medicine!) Anyway, I am experiencing a transition of my own right now.
We’ve had Bekah working for us since the boys were about 2 months old. We had a contract that she would work for us for 6 months. She was awesome! She jumped right in helping with boys, so I could help Harper transition into this new life. She allowed me to spend more individual time with members of my family – whether it be feeding a baby a bottle while holding that baby for his entire bottle.. instead of trading them out like hot potatoes… feed, burp, squirm, choke, cough… X 3 ahhhhh!! Or, if it was getting away with Chris – which we have done twice (once in October for 3 nights and once in April for 3 nights). We couldn’t have taken that precious time if she wasn’t in our lives. Or, taking Harper out for a walk or to Target. Or, just taking a nap (this was MUCH needed in the earlier days!) Plus, we had an instant friendship and it was fun to have somebody to talk to Monday – Friday while we were trapped in our house for the entire winter!
Well, after her contract was up in March, we were considering extending it. I never had a peace about it. I was doing everything I could to try to make it work for another 6 months. I would give myself excuses, saying… well, let’s see how it is once the boys are crawling… or, maybe we should wait until they are walking. Basically, my underlying feeling was fear… that I could not do this alone. I knew in my head that God had given me these children, but, in my own strength I was scared. Bekah did so much around the house, I felt lost in what I could do.
So, about 2 weeks ago, this all came to a head. I was restless & sleepless. I knew God was doing something and I was running. I was searching scripture as well as arguing that I couldn’t do this… with myself, with God, with Chris, with any close friend I could talk to.
One conversation that really just settled my heart was with my Mother In-Law, Jo Jo. She told me, Mary Lindsey, God gave you these 4 children, He will not give you what you can’t handle. He will provide everyday for you. The next morning in my quiet time was about how God shows His strength in our weakness. (We have to be weak to see His strength! I soooo want to see His strength daily!! Don’t you?) In a Bible study I was able to attend for the first time, I was reminded about how God supplied manna to the Israelites daily. They never could store any up to feel secure so that they would have food the next day (it would spoil & get maggots in it). They had to learn to wait for God to give them what they needed daily. Then, I heard on the news how a study on sleep proved that sleep isn’t something we can “rack up on.” (ie, sleeping in on the weekends, catching up on sleep)… “you get what you get” to last you through out the day. Hmmm… sounds familiar.
I knew the Lord was speaking to me. So, about 2 weeks ago, I let Bekah go. She has been working every now & then for the last 2 weeks, but now it is done. And I am vulnerable and in transition. I’ve cried many afternoons standing at the kitchen sink when energy is sucked out & all you can do is cry. I cry because it is overwhelming. I cry because I don’t want to do (insert whatever task) right then and there, but babies are crying & I have to. Sometimes, all I need is to stand there, cry, realize I am being selfish & press on. Do he next task at hand. I must say every time I call out to the Lord, He is there. He may not answer immediately, but He gives me exactly what I need. The strength and energy to press on. Sometimes, I don’t even know where it comes from… it is seriously supernatural. And I love that.
I love that I have every single second with my children. I don’t love that they cry longer than they should, but I guess that’s part of being triplets (or a big sis of triplets)… learning early you have to share and wait your turn. I love that they quiet immediately when I am on the floor with them or I pick them up. I don’t love meal time when it feels like we are in the middle of a tornado (tiny people yelling, food flying, Harper not eating, whining, coaxing, mommy sweating, yuck!) I haven’t decided if I love taking all 4 for a walk by myself. I know it will help me get in shape, but sheesh it is hard! I do love the craziness of bath time even though I need to be wrung out at the end and wouldn’t mind a quick power nap! ha! I adore putting each babe down for bed. The day is done, I have conquored (with the help of the Lord), the babies are so sweet and cuddly, and then the house is quiet.
I laid down for a nap today after everyone else was sleeping. Mama needed to catch her breath! And as I laid there I thought… what is digging into my cheek?? It was a puff that had welded itself in my hair. I managed to pull it out & drift off to sleep all while thinking, ” I’m soooo going to miss this one day!”
So, as I transition into whatever the next phase is, and I do it alone, I will know that this time is but a fleeting breath, and I am actually NOT alone. Of course, most importantly, I will know that when Chris walks in the door each night, that will be the happiest time ever because my “back up”, my “wing man” (or am I his wing woman??) has arrived!!!!
So, do you have any tips on how to survive time at home???